Vision... Putting it into practice

Every night before marrying tis stuck in your brain...
You're hoping those plans won't go down the drain.

Swags of flowers hung on the mantle with care
It must be a celebration with audacious flair!

Visions of sugared vases dance in your head;

table cloths flowing and perfect, down to every thread.

With the lustre of your dreams for all to behold,

There must be other options than that gaudy gold!

little lights -- how they twinkle! night long dancing- how merry!

If I don't get good help, this may all get very scary!




How do you take all those dreams and visions out of your head and actually make them a reality?

First- 

Look at pictures, a lot of them.  Pinterest is perfect for this because you can begin to make boards for all that you love.

Then-

Once you've gotten a decent collection, make notes on them as to what specifically you like about it.  (It may take you a while to pin it down.)

It may also help to notice what picture you dislike.  It will tell you what not to do.  Sometimes this is much more helpful for your vision.  Especially if it's something that occurs at weddings all the time.  We've had brides who hated bows (It made for a gorgeous modern wedding with cool knots everywhere.), brides who hated white (gorgeous deep hues everywhere.) and brides who thought wild flowers looked like weeds (think great big amazing blossoms everywhere.)

Start to detail it out-

Take your Pinterest boards and divvy them out.

• Dresses
• Hair
• Bouquets
• Ceremony Flowers & Details
• Centerpieces
• Tables
• Invitations
• Drinks
• Appetizers
• Meals
• Favors
• Cake

check our details page to get an idea of things to pin down your style on.

Narrow it down-

You must pick 1 theme.  And no I'm not thinking pirates or the Caribbean.

You need to have a sort of branding for your event.  It must all fit together, look like it was meant to be side by side.

If you like two contrasting items then look for photos of them combined. Or try it out.  It can be done carefully.  Hire a great florist and design company.  A good coordinator should be able to reach into your brain and find the right people to install that audacious flair for you.

Mistakes-

We see 2 common mistake in vision planning.

1-Trying to do too much.

2-Implementing it poorly.

Trying too much

Check your budget and decide (with a professional) what it will really cover.
You can still make it fabulous on a smaller scale- just pick your spots and ignore the others.
Decide what things will make the most impact.  Entryways, focal points, aisles, tables, room centers- are all great places to make a big impact.

Implementing it poorly.

Clients often underestimate what it will take to make a statement where they've decided to pay attention too.

some examples...

• more petals- when your florist asks how many bags of petals you want- A LOT.  petals don't go far and it takes a condensed amount to show up for a striking effect.
• flower arches- think thicker and more massive.  The frail arch might as well be skipped because you will see right through it.  It will not stop your eye.  And the flowers should be striking enough to see- especially outside.  There's so much to distract the eye that it's very important to create something 'opaque' enough to give your eyes something to stop on, not strain to see.
• paper lanterns- these are such a cool thing to use in your decorating but small and few of them just get lost.  Light them up.  Go Big (or group small ones).  Test it out.

Time

Plan enough time.  Hire a professional installer to hang lights, drape fabric, install lanterns and install your expensive floral pieces.  Do not make your mom or friend struggle to make something look right at the last minute.

Things often take more time and more hands than first thought.  

It's worth it to make it great. Just plan carefully. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. right?

Ask for help

Once you've found what you want, take a load off and let someone help you.  A professional will know the pitfalls to watch for, how much it will cost and where to get it done not to mention the best way to install it and how long that will take.

You can do a lot of things yourself but your wedding day is not the day to do it.  Weddings are emotionally stressful (this isn't news to you) remove the possible pitfalls and let others help you...Enjoy Your Event!

You can have the event you want on any budget, really.  Just plan in reality- what it will really take and really look like. A carefully planned event will be noticed by your guests and will please you as...just the event you wanted.

Happy Planning!

How many guests to invite?

Photo: Andre Morrell

You want to invite how many people?!

You're engaged, you're excited and you're telling everyone.
Of course! But wait a minute...

When you run into your long lost friend you haven't seen in years and you tell them the great news... stop... just before inviting them in person.

Tell anyone you want.  Blast it out on social media.  But leave out the "You have to come!" part for a little while.

Vision

Develop a vision for your event first. Your event will look A LOT different if you invite 30 people, 75 people or 150 people.  You can pay a lot of detail to tables, flowers, drinks and food at a smaller level that you cannot at a large scale.  Unless you hire a large staff and have a large budget.
(Vision post coming soon! We know, you can hardly wait!)

Budget

Go read The Cost of a Guest

Make a realistic budget. Goto WeddingWire.com to create an easy and customizable budget.
Then think about how many people that really fits.
For example...
$7,000 may look like a lot of money for food but may really only feed 100 people.


$45pp for a minimal buffet dinner & very light appetizers.
Cake cutting fee $2.50pp
$15 per server per hour (~$1,000)
Gratuity 20%
Tax 8%
Total Due $7.452

Now if you just want a bbq delivered drop catering service you may be able to spend less.  But decide early as this may make you sad when it kills your vision and causes lots of work for you and your family and friends without a budget for set up, refill and clean up help.  If it's your plan from the get go then it's not a problem. Surprises during wedding planning can often burst your bubble.

Inviting Guests

The plan...
1. Announce without inviting all

2. Plan your vision. (We'll help you tomorrow.)

3. Determine a realistic budget.

4. Plan a number of guests.
(Don't worry, we"ll help you determine who to invite and how not to let people feel left out.)

It's a big week here at Icing Side Up.
Don't Fret!

We'll help you...

Enjoy Your Event!

Just Go With It

Weddings can be a tale of two events, the one you envisioned and the one you have.

I'm not saying it won't be the way you dreamed it would be.

I'm not saying it won't be fantastic.

It just might be a little different in a few ways.

How will you survive?

1. Plan in reality.

2. Enjoy the process and event day.

3. Relax.

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it"

Charles Swindoll

Plan

The biggest reason that an event doesn't pan out is due to poor planning.  Either not planning completely or not planning realistically.

If you are overwhelmed...

1- Do less and do it well.

2. Hire help

Is it realistic?

Bounce ideas off friends, read about them and ask your coordinator.

Someone who has done many weddings will be able to tell you if they think it will work, how they've seen it work in the past, possible problems and easy tweaks to make it work awesomely!

Enjoy!

This is easier said than done and is accomplished best by...

-knowing your event is well planned

&

practicing

We live in a fast paced, multitasking do it all world.  

Learn to take time for yourself-

-yoga

-meditation

-reading (no checking your phone!)

-taking a nap

-cook a slow dinner

- go out for drinks and sit in on a quiet patio with your fiance

- be still & be intentional.

Do less, do it better, ask for help and learn... to Enjoy Your Event!

An Enjoyable Evening

It's happened before, and if you're not careful it will happen again.

Brides and Grooms plan great events and get so caught up in the hustle and details, they forget to enjoy themselves!

Don't let it be you.

How to Enjoy Your Event!

1- Plan

This does not mean you should over think everything. You should enjoy your planning too.

Get a schedule.

Make a binder.

Write it all down.

Do a walk through 1 month out, checking all the details and making notes.

Divide it all up and detail it out.

2- Delegate

2-4 weeks out go over all items and details with your wedding coordinator.

~ Alternately ~

2-4 weeks out pick people to help you do tasks.(Make sure you thank them with gift cards!)

Make a 2 week countdown plan for all the last minute details that will need to be done along with names of who will do them.

3- Let Go

All of your details should be done 1 week out.

If it's not done, drop it. You don't need it. (If you do, then hire or bribe someone else to do it.)

Spend the week and your event weekend...

-Enjoying time with out of town friends

-Having a drink with your soon to be hubby.

-Go to a yoga class and take a steam after.

-Shop for honeymoon clothes.

-Take a nap! No seriously, you don't want to get sick- 

napping is one of the greatest boosts for your immune system.

Planning a wedding is high stress but done right, it can be very enjoyable.

"Those who fail to plan, plan to fail."

Plan ahead.

Relax and enjoy the moment.

"It's Like Rain On Your Wedding Day"

You've made grandiose plans. It will be a beautiful event and it light up social media all weekend.

What if?...

You must consider the what if's. Do a walk through. Make a plan B (one that really is ok with you.) and then... Let it go.

Stop thinking, worrying, waking up at night. Leave it to your vendors and your wedding planner to carry it all out for you.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Luke 12:25

If something goes wrong a good event planner will take care of it without you even knowing.

Your part in it? Relax and Enjoy Your Event! Yes I know you're the bride and it's all about you- so let it be all about you.  You're not fixing it, it's not your job.  Your job for the day? Focus on your new spouse and just enjoy.  Take it in like a guest.  Laugh, smile, enjoy your friends and family.

Remember if something does not go according to plan.  It's ok.  You must remind yourself.  It's just a vest.  It's just a cake.  It's just rain.  

We have been a part of some of the most amazing days with some truly amazing couples who laughed through rain and made a very memorable event for all.  
Who kept a secret that the cake on display was a Styrofoam decorated cake from a show and guests never knew when that beautiful tower was wheeled into the back and cake slices came out that it wasn't the same.  They just enjoyed their day.

Plan well.
Hire competent vendors.
and... Enjoy Your Event!

Destination Wedding- Right Near Home

Photo: Roddy Macinnes

Everyone loves the idea of a destination wedding but sometimes it's not feasible due to budget restraints, guest list (how can grandma come?) or other logistics.

Fear not!

Simply stage a 'destination wedding' right near you!

1. Set the Stage- 

Send out save the date cards early to get people excited.

Save The Date

For our wedding 

and a great vacation in beautiful___________________

We're planning lots of great things for you!

Start watching that airfare!

2. Pick a very cool hotel for you all to stay

One willing to offer a great rate (most) people can afford for a block of rooms.  

(make sure that the hotel sets it up so that guests pay themselves and not through you- you don't want to be out on a limb for unbooked rooms)

Great hotel perks...

• Close to lots of restaurants, coffee shops, ice cream shops and the like.
• Airport shuttle, so that your guests don't have to rent a car.
• Great breakfast area in the hotel so that your guests can mingle every morning.
• A pool, hot tub or steam room always entice.
• A great spa for guests to use and for a fun bridemaids thank you day.
• A great event space for you to rent.

3.Utilize the Hotels event space for a great deal-

Hotels are often willing to offer you great package deals the more you use.

• Book a block of 10 rooms to start (to get the deal) make sure you're not obligated and that the hotel will automatically add rooms as they book so you don't run out.
• Plan to rent their coolest event space for your reception.
• Use their in house caterer.

4. Book a cool restaurant near the hotel for the rehearsal dinner.

Within walking distance is awesome!

Some big cities have free shuttles, which work great too!

5. Make a website of your event weekend

Let your guests know of all the great things they can do!

Plan some things that some guests can do together if they wish, some wedding events and lots of options and time for guests to explore your location on their own.

Make sure to include 1 program for wedding party and other options for those not invited to the rehearsal dinner.

Friday

Rehearsal 5pm

Rehearsal Dinner 7pm

(Those not in the wedding party are invited to Comedy Works @6)

Drinks at Hotel Lounge 8-11pm Come one come all!

Saturday

Free Breakfast in the hotel atrium

Hotel Pool opens at 9 (Bar @11)

Ceremony at 5 pm

Reception 6-10 pm in the ___

Sunday

Meet in the lobby at 8am to go hiking (shuttle provided)

-or-

Colorado Rockies Baseball Game 1pm

Make sure to include contact names and sites to book needed tickets on.

6. Leave your guests a welcome bag at reception

include water, a candy bar, popcorn, an itinerary of optional activities, maps for wedding events and especially a list of great places near to visit- restaurants, ice cream, bars, sport events, art galleries, etc.

7. Book a room for you too!

For as many nights as your guests are there- stay with them at the hotel and enjoy your stay-cation.

(book first nights separately and the hotel will change you to that honeymoon suite for a night or two after your event.- better keep that room a secret!)

8. Relax and Enjoy!

Keeping Your Guests Happy

Photo: David Leong

You've planned the perfect guest list, 

                  they've traversed the globe to celebrate with you,

now's the time to think about your event from the perspective of a guest. (psst. you're a guest too!)

When you plan your event, you often think of the big items; site, clothes, music, food, photography.  But we challenge you to think about it from a different angle.  If you haven't started planning yet, this is a great framework to use.  It will be a fresh take and will alert you to what matters to you and what you'd like to skip- then your budget priorities will be so much easier. 

You've learned how to guide your guests and about the flow of the event, now comes the why.

Time of day...

You may have chosen the time of your event for many reasons; budget, availability, lighting, theme (dessert bar anyone?) but there's other things to consider about the time your guests will arrive..

Photo: Waferboard

Starving Guests...

When did they eat last?  When did you eat last for that matter. Sometimes clients have chosen an off time of day in hopes of saving some money on a full blown meal. Or perhaps on alcohol (think brunch not late night) but you should also consider- how long have they been traveling to get to your event? (up a mountain?) Will your ceremony end at an assumed meal time? Or will they be at your event for an extended period of time? Better plan ahead for food, and don't make them wait too long.

Traditionally no food or drink is offered prior to the ceremony.  But if your guests had to skip lunch to get to you on time, it might be nice to have a table set up as guests enter with water and crackers and cheese.  If your ceremony is in a church, then make sure to display a sign asking guests to refrain from bringing food and drink inside.  Perhaps a water station in the yard outside would be a nice arrival welcome for the weary traveler.  Remove or cover the food portion (leave the water) about 15 minutes prior to your ceremony start time to let guests know it's time to find a seat.

Photo: Faungg

Heat...

Something you want to consider for outdoor ceremonies (or indoor with poor ventilation.)

• Indoors- test the ac and or fans before hand and plan when they'll begin to run.  (Several hours prior to event, to ensure proper cool.  Ac's don't recover well to quick rises and you don't save by leaving them off until the last minute.  Let them run little bits in the am in prep.)
• If you've fallen in love with an old church with no ac and are marrying on a hot day, do everything you can to help your guests. offer handheld fans, a very cold water station just outside and ask the staff what they can do to help.  They often know some tricks of the space.  (Once you know the plan- alert your vendors!  Nothing ruins a cool room, like the doors left open while vendors set up.)
• Outdoors- plan shade if you can.  visit your site a couple weeks prior at the exact time of day to scope the cool and shady spots.  Place your ceremony there if you can, rent pretty white umbrellas for the guests if not. (even a few are nice), or set up some chairs in the shade for older guests or those who are not so great at dealing with the heat.

Bugs...

If your event is outdoor and evening, then you should ask the staff what bugs they normally deal with.  (This also applies to barn or backyard events.)  Have the staff use bug sprays leading up to the event. (Make sure they are environmentally friendly.  don't want to be breathing the remains of those!) And plan your event away from water sources.

Boredom & Sleep...

That's right! You heard me! Don't let your guests sit with nothing to do for long periods of time.  And please consider what they have the following day. (Church? Early flight home?) If you're event will go into the wee hours, then make sure that the main events; dinner, dessert, toasts, are done fairly early in case a guest must leave you early.

The Ride Home...

Ice cold waters for the ride home are a nice touch.  Especially if they've been 'partying heavily'.  

A thank you sign on the way out, shows your appreciation.

A polite sign near the exit for a local taxi company says "I love you, don't drive if you've indulged too much." but maybe not those exact words.

You've done all you can do, but we just want to say... You can't please everyone.  Just ignore any rude wedding guests and Enjoy Your Day!

Useful Favors

Favors can be overwhelming for many people. What to give and how to make so many is often a bit much to deal with. It often comes at a time when you are beginning to be overdone with so many details.

Here are some guidelines-

#1
You do not have to give favors. Really. Your budget is much better spent on food, drink and music.

#2
Favors began as something useful that your guests needed and that you as a wonderful host provided. Often with a very cute tag to let them know what newly married couple thought of their needs. Most favors were often matchbooks that your guests could carry around with them to smoke. Now that we know this leads to lung cancer it has thankfully not been the gift anymore. "No thank you- enabler!"

#3
Consider your event and 'walk through it' as a guest will. Think about what they might need or enjoy during your event or on the way home.
Some ideas...

• A very cold bottle of water for the road. Fill a galvanized bin with bottles of water (specially labeled if you have the time.) Then pour ice over them and place them conveniently on the way to the parking lot for your guests to grab.
• A fan for your guests is the perfect gift if your church lacks AC. You do not have to have them for all guests but it can be a very sweet gesture to provide some. "We're aware it's hot, we're sorry. We love you"
• Crayons and a mini coloring book might be a great idea if there will be lots of kids. Especially if you think there will be lots of sitting for them and no room to run around.
• A bag for your guests staying at a hotel might be very helpful after a long flight. Include a small bag of nuts or trail mix. A little bag of m&ms and a bottled ice tea or lemonade. A thoughtful note of the best places to go for an ice cream, coffee or pre-event snack is great as they will not have to spend their energy trying to find something good.

Think through your event like a guest and see if you can provide something for them to make their day or weekend nicer. If your budget doesn't allow for presents for them, notes of help are great. Schedules, phone numbers, restaurants, etc.

Show your guests how happy you are that they've come and that you truly want them to enjoy your event too.

Your Big Exit

You've planned all the details of your big day, now is the time to think about the end. Don't be sad. It means the rest of your life begins now.

Many couples haven't given much thought to how and when they'll exit their reception. You should talk about it beforehand with your future spouse. How late do you imagine staying? Will you sneak away into the night or have a grand exit?

A big exit depends on how many guests will stay to the end. If your reception is late on a Saturday evening and you've invited your church, the place may clear out early. If you have a short lunch reception, this may be a great opportunity for a grand exit as most of your guests will still be there.

Be honest about what you want and have a plan B if the event goes differently. You don't want to miss your own party just so you can have everyone send you off. Sometimes enjoying the evening with your closest friends and slipping away when the two of you are ready can be just perfect.

Another thing to consider and plan with your vendors is- tear down time. Vendors will be told when guests have to be out and when clean up needs to be done but they will jump at the chance to clean up early and get out.
Make sure to speak to your caterers about how and when they'll clean up. Make sure they ask you if they want to clear the room early because nothing bursts your bubble like all your pretty decorations carted off before your eyes and tables slammed shut. Then add it in writing to your catering contract.

Plan with your DJ or band when they will stop and if there's background music at the site that can be played if the music ends before the reception does.

Plan who will take all your presents and cards and decorations home before your event. Your romantic first night should not include you packing your car to the hilt and having to load and unload. Hire someone else to do it.

Make a point person for the end so that no one is harassing you for what to do about all the wrap up details. Someone family or friend who knows you well is best. Let them decide and just enjoy your spouse and your celebration.

Hiring a Great Photographer

Photo: Roddy Maccinnes

You've probably read many articles about how to spot a good photographer.

• Make sure to see entire wedding albums, not just their highlight real. Anyone can get a few great shots.
• Make sure he's great at lighting and focus. (no seriously, some are horrible!)
• Make sure their style of photography matches your style. Asking them to be different creates a struggle for them. Photographers are artists, go with art you like.
• Make sure you understand pricing and copyright details. You want to actually be able to have and use your photos.

These all make sense but...

Here's the real deal to picking a photographer... Pick one you really like! Personally. Think his photos are great but seems a bit snooty. Just walk away. Are you very quiet and is the photographer very bubbly and outgoing? Maybe better search elsewhere.

Why does this matter so much? Because of all your hired vendors, this one will be with you ALL DAY. Seriously. Hanging out in your room as you wait for those guests to sit, In the limo with you when you've just finished your ceremony, right next to you eating your cake... all day. It's why you're hiring her, so that you can remember it all. You'd better like her.

He should fit your personality and meld well with you as a couple, your wedding party and your family. This will make your day so much more enjoyable. You will relax more as will your photographer and to boot your photos will turn out better! Nothing says insincere photo like an uptight bridal party.

So take your time, interview people over email, over the phone and meet with them a couple times. Then pick your favorite and prepare to have a great day!


Photo: Mike Oliver