Who to invite? 10-300

Deciding who to invite is the single hardest decision in any event.
You don't want to leave people out. But each guest adds cost, seats and changes your dynamic.

You need a plan...

FIRST

An event of 10 people feels very different than an event with 300.
So first consider what you want it to be like.
Don't think about budget yet, don't worry about your third cousin or entire church that wants to attend.
Wait... and picture.

Photo: Jeff.Finn

Smallest- 2-15 guests

Your immediate family, a best friend and each other.  This event is intimate, relaxed and the most tender of events.  It can be extravagant- off to a secluded island, a weekend long celebration in your favorite city, a snowy mountain retreat get-a-way, whatever suits you best!

This event doesn't offend many people.  They tend to understand that they're not included when you're only inviting a dozen people.  It's less event and more announcement.

Photo: Seamusiv

Medium- 50-75 guests

This is our favorite size event.  You have awesome options of unique and stylish sites. It's a great number for a stylish dinner and dessert.  You can design to your hearts content and still stay on budget.  The catch? You must carefully pick your guests so that people are not offended.

Photo: Aurelien

Large- 100-300

Make sure you have the space and consider a seating arrangement. This event can also be fabulous. Pick a few key places to add some eye catching decorations.  Pick an off time when it will be obvious that a major meal won't be served- or just say Cake & Champagne Reception and figure 1 piece and 1/2 glass pp for a toast.

Here's how to not offend people not invited...

Levels- Make the cut...
For example: if you invite one long lost third cousin, it's better to invite them all.


Level 1- Bride & Groom
Level 2- B&G, parents, closest friends
Level 3- B&G, immediate family, important friends
Level 4- B&G, extended (but seen often) family, current (seen often friends)
Level 5- B&G, extended family (incl. travelers), current and select important friends from your past
Level 6- B&G, all family, all friends, co-workers of B&G
Level 7- B&G, family, friends, co-workers of B&G & moms and dads, your dentist and the mayor.

There are exceptions. to these levels but this helps protect feelings and give you a place to know when to say when.

The dynamic is very different if you've invited your closet family and friends than if you add an open invite to your church of 150.  Will you find your closest people you want to celebrate with? Will your church members leave early or be offended at your martinis?  It's always best to picture your event.  Not just your flowers and dress, but how your experience of it will be.

Second-

What if who you want to invite you cannot afford or fit?

Announcements- 

Sent after the event to let people know- or you can send them before- just omit all event details.
James & Sarah
would like to announce 
their upcoming marriage
June 20, 2015

Do not include a registry list.  Otherwise it looks like...
You're not invited, 
but send gifts anyway

After is a great way to announce because you can include new address, phones and such.

The Double Reception

Invite them all and have a cake reception where your ceremony is held. (often your church) and then have a lavish dinner reception later for a smaller closer group.  Give people time to make the transitions or even go back to their hotels for a nap before a long evening of drinks and food at your favorite restaurants private space.

Simplify your plans

Get creative for a bigger site or a shorter outdoor reception in  a safer weather month.

Most of all be flexible.
Weddings especially are highly emotional times for all.

Take a deep breath, take care of your loved ones feelings too and Enjoy Your Event!

Vision... Putting it into practice

Every night before marrying tis stuck in your brain...
You're hoping those plans won't go down the drain.

Swags of flowers hung on the mantle with care
It must be a celebration with audacious flair!

Visions of sugared vases dance in your head;

table cloths flowing and perfect, down to every thread.

With the lustre of your dreams for all to behold,

There must be other options than that gaudy gold!

little lights -- how they twinkle! night long dancing- how merry!

If I don't get good help, this may all get very scary!




How do you take all those dreams and visions out of your head and actually make them a reality?

First- 

Look at pictures, a lot of them.  Pinterest is perfect for this because you can begin to make boards for all that you love.

Then-

Once you've gotten a decent collection, make notes on them as to what specifically you like about it.  (It may take you a while to pin it down.)

It may also help to notice what picture you dislike.  It will tell you what not to do.  Sometimes this is much more helpful for your vision.  Especially if it's something that occurs at weddings all the time.  We've had brides who hated bows (It made for a gorgeous modern wedding with cool knots everywhere.), brides who hated white (gorgeous deep hues everywhere.) and brides who thought wild flowers looked like weeds (think great big amazing blossoms everywhere.)

Start to detail it out-

Take your Pinterest boards and divvy them out.

• Dresses
• Hair
• Bouquets
• Ceremony Flowers & Details
• Centerpieces
• Tables
• Invitations
• Drinks
• Appetizers
• Meals
• Favors
• Cake

check our details page to get an idea of things to pin down your style on.

Narrow it down-

You must pick 1 theme.  And no I'm not thinking pirates or the Caribbean.

You need to have a sort of branding for your event.  It must all fit together, look like it was meant to be side by side.

If you like two contrasting items then look for photos of them combined. Or try it out.  It can be done carefully.  Hire a great florist and design company.  A good coordinator should be able to reach into your brain and find the right people to install that audacious flair for you.

Mistakes-

We see 2 common mistake in vision planning.

1-Trying to do too much.

2-Implementing it poorly.

Trying too much

Check your budget and decide (with a professional) what it will really cover.
You can still make it fabulous on a smaller scale- just pick your spots and ignore the others.
Decide what things will make the most impact.  Entryways, focal points, aisles, tables, room centers- are all great places to make a big impact.

Implementing it poorly.

Clients often underestimate what it will take to make a statement where they've decided to pay attention too.

some examples...

• more petals- when your florist asks how many bags of petals you want- A LOT.  petals don't go far and it takes a condensed amount to show up for a striking effect.
• flower arches- think thicker and more massive.  The frail arch might as well be skipped because you will see right through it.  It will not stop your eye.  And the flowers should be striking enough to see- especially outside.  There's so much to distract the eye that it's very important to create something 'opaque' enough to give your eyes something to stop on, not strain to see.
• paper lanterns- these are such a cool thing to use in your decorating but small and few of them just get lost.  Light them up.  Go Big (or group small ones).  Test it out.

Time

Plan enough time.  Hire a professional installer to hang lights, drape fabric, install lanterns and install your expensive floral pieces.  Do not make your mom or friend struggle to make something look right at the last minute.

Things often take more time and more hands than first thought.  

It's worth it to make it great. Just plan carefully. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. right?

Ask for help

Once you've found what you want, take a load off and let someone help you.  A professional will know the pitfalls to watch for, how much it will cost and where to get it done not to mention the best way to install it and how long that will take.

You can do a lot of things yourself but your wedding day is not the day to do it.  Weddings are emotionally stressful (this isn't news to you) remove the possible pitfalls and let others help you...Enjoy Your Event!

You can have the event you want on any budget, really.  Just plan in reality- what it will really take and really look like. A carefully planned event will be noticed by your guests and will please you as...just the event you wanted.

Happy Planning!

“A cake, Frank, is made of flour and water.”

Often wedding clients feel like they are being taken advantage of by pricey cakes. Why are they so expensive? Are these cakes stuffed with a green paper filling?

Are these vendors making millions off my bliss?

It’s true, wedding desires often cost much more than you want them to. If you understand what goes into each item and the demand for them, it will make much more sense.

This Behind the Scenes look at Cakes is the first in our series of many Behind the Scenes posts.

Why do wedding cakes cost $6 a serving and up? (Keep in mind this is a mid-west estimate and you’ll pay more in New York, California, Napa, etc.)

Wedding cakes involve structure. This is not your 5th birthday cake. It’s 5 of those piled on top of each other. It involves PVC, dowels and very precise leveling. Sometimes brides wonder if they can make their own tiered cake. A fraction of brides have the baking skills to construct such a cake well. Even if you are one of them, I still do not recommend that you make the cake for your own wedding. You should spend your morning having your hair done, getting dressed, enjoying your family and friends. Stressed out brides are often those who try too much and then are panicked at the last minute. I’m sure you’re very talented, but you don’t want to test it today and be heart broken about the most important day of your life.

Wedding cakes should taste amazing. It’s really easy for a cake to be too dry or for the filling to be too soft and compromise the structure. Bakers have honed their skills for years, making many cakes each week. You may go and taste all their wonderful flavors and even challenge them to recreate one of your favorites in the months prior to your event. They have tested the science of the recipes to ensure they taste best and look great- no gloppy cake please.

Your wedding cake should look like a tower of art, not like a 3rd grade Home Economics project. Be inspired, go to the knot and see hundreds of gorgeous cakes that will call out to you and your wallet. Then go to your local bakeries’ websites and see who best fits your style. You do not need to see your exact cake but the cakes should have a similar feel and construction style. Don’t hire a baker who rarely works with fondant icing if that is what your heart desires. Make it yourself and you could be crying over orange fingers and slimy fondant. Pick a stunning cake and an artist to make it. Don’t believe the propaganda, this is the one time you should expect to have your cake and eat it too.

Finally, while we don’t suggest you make your own cake, we always suggest you be original. If there’s a traditional item you don’t want for your wedding, skip it and come up with your own idea. Guests often attend 5 weddings a summer. It’s refreshing to attend one that has been given attention to detail and is not the same as all the others. (Yes those floating candles are cool looking, but they were cool in 1990 as well.) Don’t want a pricey, tiered cake? Order 200 orange cupcakes from your grocer and shave chocolate over them. (Use a rotary cheese grater and chocolate chips). Or sprinkle silver dragées over ganache cupcakes.

One of my favorite weddings was in a wildflower field in Carbondale, CO. We rented large white tents, bright blue table cloths and ordered large fruit tarts. It was spectacular, and simple (shhhh- don’t tell.) These are some great ways to save with alternatives.

Still want that skyscraper art piece. (I know you do) Give the bakers a break. Tiered fondant cakes require a lot of labor and a lot of skill, and they make for a jaw dropping centerpiece for your reception.