No Shirt, No Shoes, No (Wedding) Service!

"Are you friends of the Bride or Groom?"

Inspiration for this blog comes from all over the place, and doesn't get much better than this. Just last night my husband was listening to the radio and the DJs were discussing couples getting married at Wal-Mart because they wanted to wed on 7/7/07 and everything else was booked up. I was a little skeptical. Let's face it, afternoon show DJs are not exactly renowned for being bastions of truth and accuracy so I decided to poke around online. It's true, and not only is it true, but you had to win a contest to be one of the 'lucky couples.'

Here's a quote from the article:

"This package includes the decorated wedding venue in Wal-Mart's colorful lawn and garden area..."

The lawn and garden area? Why that's just as classy as if you got married at the botanical gardens. Please trust me when I tell you that if you decide have your wedding at Wal-Mart the most memorable thing about it will not be the date.

Guests will show up dressed to the nines and will be warmly welcomed by the friendly greeter. "Hello, we're here for the Glass - Cox wedding," (actual names of one of the couples).
"Oh, yes. It's back in our lawn and garden section. Take aisle 12 all the way back to the jean shorts and halter tops and then take a left. Keep going until you see the folding lawn chairs and can smell the weed killer. If you get to men's undergarments you've gone too far."

If you're lucky enough to be invited to one of these events here's a few helpful tips:

• If you forget your gift just arrive 10 minutes early and have Wal-Mart gift wrap something for you.
• A supervised nursery for the children will not be provided but as always Wal-Mart encourages you to leave them to run roughshod in the toy aisle.
• Please remember to bring your own spit cup.
• Formal attire is not required but try to choose an outfit that looks good with your mullet.
• Check the weather and remember to put the T-Tops on your Camaro if it might rain.
• Keep some dollar bills in your pocket for the 'Money Dance,' if you don't have any dollar bills handy, arrive early and return the truck battery you recently bought. Ask the customer service clerk for the $12 in ones.

Fab Honeymoons

Need we say more...

Swept Away

Negril, Jamaica

http://www.swept-away.com/



InterContinental RESORT AND SPA MOOREA
Moorea, French Polynesia

http://www.ichotelsgroup.com/h/d/ic/1/en/hotel/mozpf?_requestid=314283

Just Elope Already!

An attorney suggesting that you represent yourself.

A mechanic not finding any additional problems that you need to take care of.

Paris Hilton taking responsibility for her actions.

A wedding coordinator suggesting that you elope.

“I’ll take things that will never happen for $500 please Alex.” Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

Well get ready, because you’re about to witness the final item on that list. (In related news the temperature in hell today is a chilly 32 degrees Fahrenheit with a cold front moving in tonight.)

Your vision of eloping probably includes a light up Elvis, a free Vegas buffet and disgruntled relatives. Modern “eloping” has evolved into “destination weddings”, and it’s not just a new name but a new way to look at weddings. Simply go somewhere else.

Your wedding dreams can change overnight, quickly going from: fairy tales, flowers, dreams, doves, and layers of flowing organza to pushy relatives, budget limitations, hours fighting over seating charts, details, details, details. One minute you can’t stop looking at your new 1 carat princess cut diamond and the next morning you realize you’re going to pay $120 a guest, your mother wants to invite everyone she ever knew, thinks you should hang swags of lace and have huge centerpieces of babies breath and carnations. All of the sudden you find yourself hoping that your mother won’t be offended if you throw up all over her wedding book from Michaels.

Usually brides seriously consider eloping after 6 months of planning, when they just can’t take it anymore. At that point you’re 6 deposits in and stuck with 6 more months of your mother.

While we pride ourselves in reducing your stress planning your wedding and helping you Enjoy Your Event!, there are cases where it’s just better to find an amazing resort, a gorgeous dress and buy an airline ticket. We are not counselors. Likewise if you would love to come to Colorado for your get-a-way, we would love to help.

Couples have many reasons not to elope. Let us tell you the truth…

1-The laws are too confusing. I can’t get a license.
(Thanks to about.com) just click here to find your location. You can also get all the info you need on the internet. Research has never been easier.

Bahamas Example:
ID Requirement: Photo ID such as passport or driver's license. Additionally, you will need a sworn declaration to prove that you are not married. If you are a US citizen, this can be done at the US Consul at the American Embassy in Nassau. Others can have a notarized declaration.
Residency Requirement: 24 hours for either the bride or groom. You must provide evidence of the date of your arrival in The Bahamas.
Waiting Period: 24 hours.

2- I want my family and friends to come but don’t want them there for my honeymoon!

There are many ways to accommodate this.
Island hop! There are so many great Caribbean locals close to each other, you can marry at one and stow away to another secluded spot to sunbathe and sip the week away.
Resort Hop! Marry at one resort and then move to another. Sandals, Couples, Barbados, check other all inclusives

Stay with your family and friends the week prior and enjoy a vacation with them, then plan for them to check out and stay and enjoy a private honeymoon for the next week. (Your family and friends will understand. Be honest with them about your desire to have alone time.)

3- I will feel like I didn't get a real wedding.

You do not have to have a shotgun wedding. You are simply planning a wedding in another location. It is less work, less details and less guests. All of this leads to a relaxing and memorable day of bliss.

Pick an idealic beach or a thatched hut in a tropical local or stay at one of Las Vegas’ new super hotels, perhaps get married at the Terrace at The Bellagio. Take your family to Italy. Spend a week in Colorado’s Mountains.

Do whatever you need to do to Enjoy Your Event!

Romantic Colorado Getaway

Gold Lake Resort
A YMCA camp? Yeah, really. I’m serious. Stop looking at me like that. Let me explain:

This resort used to be a YMCA camp.
Each cabin has been renovated to include log beds with feather tops, bathtubs carved out of rock, stained glass windows and the camp counselors have been removed for your enjoyment. Very cool.

As if that wasn’t cozy enough, just steps from your front door are rock hot tubs built into the side of the mountain with a view of Gold Lake. What could make this any more enjoyable? Some light snow, your man bringing you a hot cocoa by the fire that he built and then reading poetry to you. (OK so the poetry thing might be pushing it, but the rest sounds good right?) Oh, and don’t tell him that there are no TVs there, or be sure to go during a bye week.

Gold Lake Resort also boasts a Spa and Alice's Restaurant (awesome food)

It's ok if you want to sing...

"You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, You can do whatever you feel ... "

http://www.goldlake.com/
Gold Lake Mountain Resort and Spa •
3371 Gold Lake Road, Ward, CO 80481 USA •
303-459-3544

"It's next to the viaduct across from the U-Haul Storage"

“Why don’t we have the wedding at The Steak Pit?”
“I don’t think you want the word pit on a wedding invitation” - Father of the Bride 1991

Even Annie’s little brother knew about wedding etiquette. There are many styles of weddings, but some things never look quite right.

You as a bride and your guests have certain visions about your upcoming wedding. These are perpetuated by all of the clues that lead up to your gala. People make all sorts of judgments based on these clues:

• What they will wear: words on your invitation that lead to images of dust, picnic tables, a barn, a park all lead to jeans and casual shoes. If you plan to dress your site up your stationary had better look money.
• What gift they will give you: think twice about those funky hot pink invites if you don’t want hot pink dishes. (You think we’re kidding!)
• That you’re cheap: were those self-printed smudged Michaels invites really worth the message they sent “I’m cutting every corner but if you could ship me a rather expensive bone china place setting it would be great”
• You got a deal on a site in the ‘revitalization’ part of town: drive several routes to your site- don’t just give guests the map-quest results. Being scared of where you’re sending them and what they’ve agreed to attend makes them more apprehensive about everything else throughout the evening.

Think about your event from your guest’s point of view. There are places you can save money and places where you’ve gone too far.

Some Red Flags to Watch For:

• Directions include: turn right at the U-Haul facility, just past the shooting range, next to the Pizza Hut
• Guests wonder if you were on a budget because the outside of your venue looks like a motel 8
• The elevator is so old and creaky that guests are almost wetting themselves in terror, at least that’s what it smells like.
• Your invitation contains the words “continue past the main entrance around to the back…”
• Security will be provided after dark to walk guests to their cars
• A disclaimer “not responsible for valuables left inside your car”
• Guests have to keep running out to feed the meter.
• Wedding scheduled not to conflict with the working hours of the Purina factory because of the smell.
• You book the Butterfly Pavilion and your guests never see a butterfly because you only rented the conference room.
• Three letters: V F W

Create an experience for your guests.
Your initial piece of stationary … your wedding website … how they respond … their car ride vistas to the ceremony … what they are expected to do with their time until the reception (FEED THEM!) … avoid the feeling of “now what?” at your reception … and finally how they feel when they leave - send them with a gift to a well lit safe parking lot or even better an option for a ‘Heavenly-Bed’ hotel room and Starbucks after a good night sleep.
“We’ll leave the light on for you"