Make no mistake, wedding planning is an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you can’t believe the love of your life can’t stand to be without you and the next you’re having a heart attack at how much this whole celebration is going to cost. (Be on the lookout for our upcoming budget series.)
It used to be that couples were engaged for a long period of time. Perhaps due to young age- waiting for a college graduation, a job, etc. But it’s also associated with elaborate weddings as popular sites book very far out and some wedding dresses take a long time to arrive. Many brides and grooms tend to be a little older nowadays. (At least in our experience.) We’ve seen shorter engagements and more relaxed planning styles. Those aren’t necessarily connected but have many benefits.
Since weddings require a great deal of detailed planning, they have a tendency to take up every waking moment. When those moments last for a year or two, your life tends to revolve around all things wedding. It is partially because you are so excited about it and because there can be so many decisions to be made. Then when the wedding is over you have nothing to talk about. All you’ve done is wedding stuff for a long time.
Fear not! You can maintain your sanity and create the celebration you’re envisioning.
Make a concerted effort to NOT talk about your wedding all the time. Talk current events. plan non-wedding things- your next date night or a bbq.
Focus on your other interests and hobbies, If you don’t have any yet now is the perfect time. Your engagement is a time to plan for your married life, to practice how you will spend your time together and to prepare to face life as a team. It just also happens that you probably have lots of details to plan for your celebration.
Decide early what wedding things are important to the both of you and ditch the rest. It may not be worth your time spent finding the perfect garter and having arguments discussions on how and if to remove and throw it. The more you add, the more time it will take up. Our favorite weddings were simple and very intentional. You could tell much time had been spent on the menu, music and flow of the event. Do not feel like you must do everything or hire every vendor. Make your event fit you. It’s what people are coming to celebrate after all.
Focus on your future mate. (This will serve you well in marriage too.) Make sure they know you first and foremost can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them and then, that you’re excited to plan the best party ever.
Breathe. Don’t let people get you all worked up. Just tell your aunt “You’re so kind to offer, we’ll let you know what you decide to do.” (Keep this quote ready to ward off those butting in helping.)
Hire help for wedding week and day of planning even if you’re planning the whole thing yourself. Then you can spend the week enjoying all your visiting relatives and friends and make it a week long celebration.
Now, put the computer down and go out on a date.