Your Big Exit

You've planned all the details of your big day, now is the time to think about the end. Don't be sad. It means the rest of your life begins now.

Many couples haven't given much thought to how and when they'll exit their reception. You should talk about it beforehand with your future spouse. How late do you imagine staying? Will you sneak away into the night or have a grand exit?

A big exit depends on how many guests will stay to the end. If your reception is late on a Saturday evening and you've invited your church, the place may clear out early. If you have a short lunch reception, this may be a great opportunity for a grand exit as most of your guests will still be there.

Be honest about what you want and have a plan B if the event goes differently. You don't want to miss your own party just so you can have everyone send you off. Sometimes enjoying the evening with your closest friends and slipping away when the two of you are ready can be just perfect.

Another thing to consider and plan with your vendors is- tear down time. Vendors will be told when guests have to be out and when clean up needs to be done but they will jump at the chance to clean up early and get out.
Make sure to speak to your caterers about how and when they'll clean up. Make sure they ask you if they want to clear the room early because nothing bursts your bubble like all your pretty decorations carted off before your eyes and tables slammed shut. Then add it in writing to your catering contract.

Plan with your DJ or band when they will stop and if there's background music at the site that can be played if the music ends before the reception does.

Plan who will take all your presents and cards and decorations home before your event. Your romantic first night should not include you packing your car to the hilt and having to load and unload. Hire someone else to do it.

Make a point person for the end so that no one is harassing you for what to do about all the wrap up details. Someone family or friend who knows you well is best. Let them decide and just enjoy your spouse and your celebration.

Hiring a Great Photographer

Photo: Roddy Maccinnes

You've probably read many articles about how to spot a good photographer.

• Make sure to see entire wedding albums, not just their highlight real. Anyone can get a few great shots.
• Make sure he's great at lighting and focus. (no seriously, some are horrible!)
• Make sure their style of photography matches your style. Asking them to be different creates a struggle for them. Photographers are artists, go with art you like.
• Make sure you understand pricing and copyright details. You want to actually be able to have and use your photos.

These all make sense but...

Here's the real deal to picking a photographer... Pick one you really like! Personally. Think his photos are great but seems a bit snooty. Just walk away. Are you very quiet and is the photographer very bubbly and outgoing? Maybe better search elsewhere.

Why does this matter so much? Because of all your hired vendors, this one will be with you ALL DAY. Seriously. Hanging out in your room as you wait for those guests to sit, In the limo with you when you've just finished your ceremony, right next to you eating your cake... all day. It's why you're hiring her, so that you can remember it all. You'd better like her.

He should fit your personality and meld well with you as a couple, your wedding party and your family. This will make your day so much more enjoyable. You will relax more as will your photographer and to boot your photos will turn out better! Nothing says insincere photo like an uptight bridal party.

So take your time, interview people over email, over the phone and meet with them a couple times. Then pick your favorite and prepare to have a great day!


Photo: Mike Oliver

Your Wedding Toast

Photo courtesy: Roddy MacInnes

Give the people what they want...


It's not a crass story from college or a long winded tale of your connection. It's something to make them look great and tell them how much they mean to you. The Bride and Groom obviously think highly of you. They've asked you to speak to hundreds of people they know. They've given you a microphone and let you loose.

#1-
Plan ahead. Most of us are not amazing spur of the moment. Especially when the emotional stakes are high and you just might be slightly dehydrated and exhausted from all the anticipatory celebrations.

• Write down ideas- ask a friend for feedback
• Write bullet points easy to see
• Practice it.

#2-

Keep it short. It's really not about you. You've just been nominated to say things to make the Bride and Groom look and sound great and to give guests who don't know you all well, feel a great part of the day. Besides, the best part of what you'll say is usually at the beginning. You're not likely to get much better blathering on. Be succinct.

#3-

Don't know what to say or like talking in front of people? Google a funny or sweet poem or quote that fits well and start with it. Say how happy you are for the couple. How honored you are to be asked to be a part of their day. How much you love them and then raise your glass and take your seat.

#4-

If you've been asked to give a toast- do so. If not smile and stay seated. They love you anyway but have other plans.

#5-

If you haven't been asked to speak but your best friends tipsy mother in law decides to put in her two cents? Begin by going to stand next to her quietly. (She may realize it's uncomfortable and wrap it up.) If she goes on and it's polite, let her speak. If it's inappropriate and you can see the Bride and Groom are uncomfortable, hug her and take the mic and say something witty if it comes to you. "Guess we need to check the air filter on this microphone. Time to party!" (psst.there's an off switch on the side.)

By the way, it's a good idea to let people know before hand who will be speaking and it what order. You can begin with dads, then the best man and end with the maid of honor. This is traditionally done because the maid of honor tends to be the best spoken and lightest of them all, setting a good tone to leave off on. You may do it in any order and you do not have to ask your best man and maid of honor to speak if there's someone more appropriate for the occasion or who would be great to speak to your crowd.

If your mom's dying to speak and you want to say hundreds from it, then let her do so at the rehearsal dinner and tell her ahead of time so that she can plan.

To the bride and groom!

Wedding Planning Making You Dizzy?

Photo: Verge Photography, now KJ & Rob

Make no mistake, wedding planning is an emotional rollercoaster.  One minute you can’t believe the love of your life can’t stand to be without you and the next you’re having a heart attack at how much this whole celebration is going to cost.  (Be on the lookout for our upcoming budget series.)

It used to be that couples were engaged for a long period of time.  Perhaps due to young age- waiting for a college graduation, a job, etc.  But it’s also associated with elaborate weddings as popular sites book very far out and some wedding dresses take a long time to arrive.  Many brides and grooms tend to be a little older nowadays. (At least in our experience.) We’ve seen shorter engagements and more relaxed planning styles. Those aren’t necessarily connected but have many benefits.

Since weddings require a great deal of detailed planning, they have a tendency to take up every waking moment. When those moments last for a year or two, your life tends to revolve around all things wedding.  It is partially because you are so excited about it and because there can be so many decisions to be made.  Then when the wedding is over you have nothing to talk about.  All you’ve done is wedding stuff for a long time.

Fear not! You can maintain your sanity and create the celebration you’re envisioning.

#1

Make a concerted effort to NOT talk about your wedding all the time. Talk current events. plan non-wedding things- your next date night or a bbq.

#2

Focus on your other interests and hobbies, If you don’t have any yet now is the perfect time.  Your engagement is a time to plan for your married life, to practice how you will spend your time together and to prepare to face life as a team.  It just also happens that you probably have lots of details to plan for your celebration.

#3

Decide early what wedding things are important to the both of you and ditch the rest.  It may not be worth your time spent finding the perfect garter and having arguments discussions on how and if to remove and throw it.  The more you add, the more time it will take up.  Our favorite weddings were simple and very intentional.  You could tell much time had been spent on the menu, music and flow of the event.  Do not feel like you must do everything or hire every vendor.  Make your event fit you.  It’s what people are coming to celebrate after all.

#4

Focus on your future mate. (This will serve you well in marriage too.) Make sure they know you first and foremost can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them and then, that you’re excited to plan the best party ever.

#5

Breathe. Don’t let people get you all worked up.  Just tell your aunt “You’re so kind to offer, we’ll let you know what you decide to do.” (Keep this quote ready to ward off those butting in helping.)

#6

Hire help for wedding week and day of planning even if you’re planning the whole thing yourself.  Then you can spend the week enjoying all your visiting relatives and friends and make it a week long celebration.

Now, put the computer down and go out on a date.

Beyond the tent card... Great seating chart ideas

Careful planning needs flawless execution.  You've spent so long planning the perfect seating places for your guests that you could probably work for eHarmony by now.  Grandma away from the speakers, divorced attendees far enough away from each other, kids away from your leaning tower of cake, and your best friend next to whom you're sure will be the love of her life.

Now the obligatory white tent cards on an entry table? Really?

Tent cards are not only overdone but take a long time to set up and can get bumped easily (no more pretty straight rows.) It's also easier to lose a guest this way.  Nothing says "Glad you came." like a missing name.  

Some things to consider and ways to make it smashing to boot.

• Craft a chart ahead of time so that it can be placed on an easel or table quickly.
• Cover it in plastic for transit so it doesn't get dirty or lose pieces on the way.
• Place it in a prominent spot, right as your guests enter.
• Place it in an easy to see and fairly open area.  Cramped dark spaces lead to long lines.
• Arrange your chart in alphabetical order so that it's easy for your guests to find their names.
• You can name your tables instead of numbering them if you wish but people might still notice they're not top tier when they end up next to the kitchen.
• You do not have to tell guests where at the table they must sit with pre-placed cards.  You can just give them an assigned table.  It will save your caterers time and mistakes to skip the cards here. (Although if you want to be sure your best friend gets to sit next to that hottie you might want to.)
• Make sure at least one of the tables has a few extra places set for the non RSVPing guests who'll swear they assumed you knew they were coming. It will be much easier you having to decide where to put them and having your caterer smush them in to an already seated table.
• Print back ups for caterers and parents to have so when people 'forget' to check the chart they can quickly see where to send them.

Great Ideas...

• Our favorite! Over-sized Framed Chart
• Buy an old large frame (no glass or backing needed) and make your own pin board.
• Hit the flea markets, your mom's closet or craft store for a frame.
• Repaint it if you wish.
• Cut a piece of cardboard to the correct size
• Add batting for a full puffed out look. (or just double your cardboard to give your picture sturdiness.)
• Cover the insert in your favorite fabric or paper if you've skipped the batting. (wrapping paper works awesome for this.)
• Insert the backing and use packing tape around all 4 edges on the back to securely adhere.
• Buy pins. (Pearl boutineer and corsage pins work great and are quite inexpensive.) Or search for the perfect pin to fit your theme.  Buy enough for all the alphabet letters you'll need. (15-25)
• Print names separated by letter.  You can even just use plain white paper and pick a black card stock backing or a fancy paper so long as it doesn't clash with your background.
• If you omitted the batting you can first glue a smaller piece of cardboard or foam behind the letter section to make it pop out a bit.  Great for your eyes and architecturally.

• Make a clothes line for an out door wedding.
• Use an old window.
• Buy a collage frame to frame lettered lists.
• Use your theme and get creative!

Go nuts!  It's probably time to hit Pinterest now...